As part of the lessons learned in my twenties series, here are my thoughts on friends and how I view them.
When we’re young, we tend to place a lot of emphasis on the amount and kinds of friends that we have. We may worry about not being popular, or not having the right kind of friends, or the right amount of friends. This is especially true for women who place more emphasis on friends more than men. I have found that it’s not the quantity of friends we have, but its the quality of friends that we have. Friends are important, we’ re human, we’re social creatures by nature.
I’ve learned to surround myself around positive people that inspire me. I’ve noticed so many changes in my life because the people I choose to interact with inspire and motivate me to do better and to be better. They want better for me. In our lifetime, we’ll have all sorts of relationships, but friendships are special and sometimes they’re also seasonal. Friendships, like experiences, are teachers in our uni-verse that we will have to decipher their importance to us. There’s a saying that we don’t choose our family, but we choose who our friends are. I suppose this is true to a certain extent, but we also don’t always choose who we become friends with. The universe will provide us with the people that we need, at the time that we need them for whatever purpose is needed for us (or them) at the time.
Its easy to get caught up in a friendship and lose our sense of identity, as with any other relationship. This applies to both good friends and bad friends. Through our friendships, our friends should support us living our authentic lives, never trying to be like them, or not be like them, but being true to who we really are on the inside, with no judgments.
There are many of us who feel that too many friends can be a negative thing, after all Drake (the rapper) did say, “No new friends.” Well, we should not look at it that way. It’s the type of friends that we have that makes friendships special, no matter the number of friends we have. Remember, quality, not quantity. You can have friends who you’ve known since elementary school, but they don’t have your best interest in mind. We may tell ourselves that these are my true friends because I’ve known them since grade school, but how does that friendship benefit you today? If you can figure out how you truly benefit from these friends, then good for you, but don’t let that limit you from making new friends because you think the longer the friendship, the more loyal or true they will be to you. We really limit ourselves when we think that the more friends you have the greater the risk is for betrayal by these friends. Remember, the quality of friends, not the quantity of friends. If you think that the more friends you have, the greater the opportunity there is for someone to stab you in the back, then you can only get what you’re expecting. Be careful who you choose to call your friends.
We don’t have to go around calling everyone we know a friend because that’s not always the case. The people that I choose to call friend, are really great people, and I love them. But at the same time, I do realize that I have had a lot of friends in my life, and through time, the degrees of friendships change, and that is OK. I appreciate all the love that I receive from people who I consider friends, and the people who I may not necessarily call friend. What’s important to appreciate the special relationships that you do have, and to not limit yourself to having more special people in your life. The universe has a way of aligning you with the perfect person that is needed at the most perfect time in your life. Be open. Be love.